


(You live in) small talk

by maerose



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Have some angst!, M/M, have some fluff!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:41:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22694953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maerose/pseuds/maerose
Summary: A collection of drabbles off my Tumblr.#5: catch and release(based on the spoilers for upcoming episodes)“This ain’t about who you are, though, is it?” Callum shook his head, bit his lip to keep from screaming. He tried to use his hands to convey the message clearly, wishing he knew how. “Nah, this was you trying to prove something. To show the world you’re still big bad Ben Mitchell, even when your hearing’s gone.”Ben looked thrown by that. Like he hadn’t even realized that’s what it was until Callum spelled it out for him.“… and because of that, you got reckless.” He continued. “Stupid. A-and you got caught for it.”
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 158





	1. (You live in) small talk

For his own pride’s sake, he still pretended there was a line to how much groveling and pleading he was going to do. How much he was willing to show Keanu that he’d do just about anything to get Callum back.

He’d tried during their first confrontation: sly grin. Sharp words. “ _Look_ ,” he’d said, _“if you wanted to bunk up with him so badly, all you had to do was ask_.”

It was getting harder with every moment passing. His throat stung from all the screams he’d pushed down and the snarky comments just wouldn’t come no more. The fake smiles he’d tried on Jay trembled at the corners. His voice was on the verge of breaking with every word.

“Just let me talk to him, yea?” He pushed. “I need something other than just faint breathing and pictures. For all I know, they may’ve been taken ages ago – NO,” he interrupted before Keanu could get a word in, “time stamps don’t do the trick. Valentine’s nearly up, and I need to hear my boyfriend’s sexy voice uttering sweet little nothings in my ear.”

Keanu growled. “It was him decided not to talk the other night. Wanting to stand up to me, I guess.”

 _Good_. That was… that was good; Callum fighting back instead of leaving himself vulnerable and unprotected.  
  
The words he’d said many times before played over in his mind _. You know, I WAS in the army, Ben. I CAN handle myself. D’you think I needed protecting THEN_?

Except those times, it hadn’t been Ben putting him in danger, had it? And it hadn’t been about an absolute nutter holding him captive God knows where.

“What can I say; my man’s got a stubborn streak when he wants to. Bossy, too. You should see what he gets like in bed.”

Keanu uttered a sound of disgust before passing the phone to Callum.

Who sounded…surprisingly _chipper_.

“Hello, darling,” he said easily. “How’s your day going?”

It threw him.

He knew what Callum was doing, of course. Still, it took one _hell_ of an effort to school his own voice into something lighthearted and fluffy. Like all they were doing was a quick chat before meeting up in the evening. Like there was nothing wrong at all.

“Eh, you know. Not too bad – few things on my mind. Lexi’s sick, so I’ve been trying to take care of her while juggling. I reckon a few _Callum cuddles_ might makes us both feel better.” 

_I miss you_ , he translated, _with every second ticking away._ “How are things your end?”

“I’ve had better days,” Callum told him drily. Only now did Ben notice the cracking in his voice, like he hadn’t been given water for a while now. His blood boiled at the thought. “But you know, hangin’ in there.”

“You hurt?”

“A little.” Callum admitted, though Ben had no way of telling just how much he was downplaying the damage for his sake. “Nothing I can’t handle. Mostly just sick of being sat here with a jumpy lunatic.”

“Yeah.” Ben sighed. “I’m working it, I swear. Every minute.”

“I know,” Callum replied. His voice had gone soft and quiet, like all that had come before was just to piss Keanu off, but this.. this was for Ben. Telling him Callum still trusted him, still believed in him to make things right. Ben only hoped he could live up to that expectation. “I know, Ben.”

He wanted to say more. Wanted to say everything he hadn’t been able to before – but he also knew that if the words were spoken now, they’d both feel like it was just out of despair and he didn’t want that. Didn’t want the words tainted.

Callum didn’t say them either.

But when the call broke off and there was only silence left, Ben swore he heard them echoing off the walls.

_ I love you. _

_ I love you._


	2. pizza night confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He heard his daughter start off a conversation quietly, sweetly. From experience, he knew whatever was coming was going to be proper serious.
> 
> “Callum,” she began in her adorable high-pitched voice. “Daddy was really sad without you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously don't know what's going on but I can't seem to stop writing them.  
> o_0
> 
> Anyway:  
> HAVE SOME FLUFF WHILE WERE DEALING WITH ALL THE ANGST.

About the fifth night after their big reunion, Lexi came for dinner. Granddad Phil’s house was so quiet without him, she said after a minute. He always had that grumpy voice sounding everywhere. 

Ben smiled, wondering what his dad would think of that: Lexi properly missing him and announcing it to them in that matter-of-fact way she had of saying things. His grinch heart might grow three sizes bigger as a result. While Lexi hadn’t exactly featured in his dad’s “everyone-I-care-about”-Portugal-list, he knew the little girl did mean a lot.

But this… 

Ben looked at the scene in front of him. Lola kissing Lexi’s hair before leaving, Callum’s wide grin and big warm eyes… 

…this was all Ben needed. All he’d ever need. 

He left the two of them for a minute, venturing into the kitchen to stuff the freezer pizzas into the oven and set their places at the table. By now, Lexi had taken out her play things, pressing Callum to join in her games without giving him a sliver of a chance to escape. Thankfully, Callum didn’t seem to mind.

Their excited chatter from the next room stopped for a minute, making the clattering of forks and knives that much louder in the house. They weren’t gonna use them, obviously, but didn’t hurt for pretense, did it? 

Then he heard his daughter start off a conversation quietly, sweetly. From experience, he knew whatever was coming was going to be proper serious.

“Callum,” she began in her adorable high-pitched voice. “Daddy was really sad without you.” 

Ben froze. Stopped short halfway through placing the final piece of cutlery, holding it in his hand, hovering three inches above the table. His heart rate tripled, breathing stopped altogether. He wondered if he’d get away with shuffling over to the doorway, spying on them unseen. Throwing caution to the wind, he went for it.

If he’d expected Callum to get flustered in the face of her statement, he was wrong. His boyfriend just gave Lexi this _look_ , nodding a little like he knew it had torn Ben apart every second, even though he had been the one to break things off and - in the process - break Callum’s heart into tiny little pieces.

“I know, princess,” he told her. “But hey,” he tickled her side, “Saw you makin’ him really happy the other day, giving him that sticker you got. Your dad’s really lucky _you_ were there when I wasn’t.” 

_Hang on. He what?_

“D’you wanna know something?” Callum continued. “I was really sad too, not seeing him.”

Lexi sounded confused. “So why’d ya leave?”

Ben pushed out a breath. He really, really, ought to rescue Callum right now. ‘Cause he knew, he just knew, that the other man was too good to ever put the blame where it belonged, especially when it would diminish Ben in his daughter’s eyes. 

And he didn’t. Course he didn’t.

“I don’t know.” Callum just said, trailing his big hand along Lexi’s locks where she leaned into him. “Guess me and your dad just needed to think about some things. But tell you what,” she looked up at him and his smile turned bloody _blinding_ , “being away made me realize I don’t ever wanna go again.” 

“Good.” Lexi said decidedly, sounding a little put out. “Cause _I_ missed you too.”

The oven started beeping right then, signaling their pizzas were done. Callum’s eyes shot up, and he finally spotted Ben in the doorway, eavesdropping on their conversation. Their eyes found each other, and the moment just seemed to stretch into minutes and hours and years. It was just the two of them.

Until his daughter’s impatient voice broke through. “Daaaaaaaaaad! The pizzas!”

“Right!” He said, a lot louder than he’d meant to. “Dinner’s up, come get it while it’s hot.”

*

Later, when he’d put their plates away in the sink, he pulled at Callum’s clothes when he passed him on his way. Callum went with it, their bodies aligning perfectly, a little tilt to their stance. 

“Didn’t know you were there,” he said quietly.

Callum didn’t even pretend not to know what he was talking about. “Just escaped from a date at the Albert,” he explained, “and I saw ya. Couldn’t take my eyes off it, to be honest.”

Ben twinged at the words. Went into ‘let’s make light of this situation’-mode to cover up how vulnerable it made him feel. Realistically, he’d known when he’d pushed Callum away that their separation might lead to Callum moving on, but the abstract idea of it had been one thing. 

He instantly let go of where he was holding onto Callum’s arms, twisting a little to break their closeness. 

“What happened,” he asked, fumbling with the dish rag he’d taken up, “He not pretty like me?” His lips turned down in an exaggerated pout.

“No, he was really good-looking actually.” Callum honestly told him. “Rainie wasn’t too well pleased with me ignoring her instructions to _‘climb that like a tree.’_ ”

Putting up the brave front suddenly seemed a lot harder.

Callum, though. Callum knew him well enough to know how much this was really affecting him. Knew exactly what to say to get him out of it, too. He just pulled him close again, let him know what’s what.

“Thing is,” he emphasized the words, speaking slowly, “my heart already belonged to someone else.” 

Ben grabbed a proper hold of him, pressing hard to give way to the surge of possessiveness that shot through him. _Damn straight it did. Also.._

“Not just your heart.” It came out sounding like a low growl. Like he was an animal, ready to attack just about anyone or anything that tried to make a move on his man.

Callum threw his head back with a laugh, finally dispelling the last of the darkness of their conversation. 

“No,” he said, and kissed Ben; sweetly at first, then hungrily, only stopping when a sound from the next room served to remind them both they weren’t exactly alone. 

“You’re right.” he repeated, with a last peck against his lips. “You got pretty much all of me there is, really.”


	3. what, like Brangelina?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “D’you know she calls you Ballum?” Jay asked, clearly trying not to laugh at them.
> 
> Ben blinked in confusion. “She what?”
> 
> “What,” Callum said incredulously, “like Brangelina?”
> 
> Jay took up his bottle of beer, pointed it at them in confirmation. “Exactly like Brangelina.”

It was just a regular stormy Tuesday night, and they were all down at the Vic for drinks - him, Lola, Callum and Jay; this little family unit he’d built over the course of the last few months. Ben had seen all of their faces that day he’d decided to run away with this dad and, _had_ it actually been the end of it, they’d have been seared in his mind forever. Callum’s sadness. Lola’s fury. Jay’s understanding. They’d all been telling him not to go - and that night, when they’d reunited, he’d been overwhelmed with a sense of belonging he’d just never felt before. Nothing in the world was ever going to compare.

Lola had a special sort of glint in her eye tonight, smiling and biting her bottom lip at times, almost like she was just _so_ happy the emotion was just going to break all over her face and she was struggling to keep at least _some_ sense of composure.

“Got something to show you…” she said, digging around her purse with perfectly manicured fingers. She pulled out a drawing that was obviously Lexi’s and held it up proudly. There were five figures on it, one of them exceptionally tall. A tiny little girl with blonde hair and a sparkly skirt stood in the middle. They were all holding hands.

 _“Me, mummy and Uncle Jay and daddy and Callum._ ” Lola read from the back, “ _Mummy and Uncle Jay are in love and so is daddy and Callum. They all love me very much and take good care of me. They give each other lots of kisses. I get kisses too.”_

Her eyes sought out Ben’s specifically. “She had an assignment on family at school.”

Jay cleared his throat, very obviously trying to rid some of the emotion that’d taken him by surprise. They were all caught up in it; Ben didn’t even have to _look_ at Callum to feel it radiating off him. “Well,” Jay said, “I’ll grant ya, it’s not a regular family unit.”

Lola grinned at him. “It’s bleemin’ perfect, though, innit?”

“She’s amazin’, she is.” Callum ventured. Now that Ben had the actual nerve to look at him, he could see all the love he had shining in his big, wide eyes. Love for _him_ , love for his little girl.Ben thought back to the morning him and Lexi had been dancing, and he recalled Callum’s words. Really, if _Ben’_ d had ovaries right now…

He just gave Lola a small, proud smile. Winked at her. “We did alright.”

She knew it exactly for what it was. “Kathy nearly started bawling when I showed her earlier.”

“D’you know she calls you _Ballum_?” Jay asked, clearly trying not to laugh at them.

Ben blinked in confusion. “She what?”

“What,” Callum said incredulously, “like _Brangelina_?”

Jay took up his bottle of beer, pointed it at them in confirmation. “Exactly like Brangelina.” He took a small sip before placing it back down. “Me and Lola told her were heading here for a drink and she went: _‘Oh right! Ballum going to be there?’”_

He’d added hand gestures to liven up her words. “Said it’s easier than having to say ‘Ben and Callum’ all the time.”

“Well,” Callum huffed. “We ain’t adopting seven kids.”

Of all the things.. _That’s what he was going with?_

Luckily, it gave Ben something to joke about and _not_ focus on the way his heart had been erratically constricting and expanding ever since the drawing. 

“Aw,” Ben teased, squeezing Callum’s thigh with the hand that had been resting there since the night began, “what’s wrong babe, you not feeling broody?”

“Well, yeah..” Callum replied, “but seven’s a bit much though, innit? ‘sides, you’ve already got one!”

Right. So not only was his heart trying to kill him, his lungs were in on it too. Lola and Jay’s gazes bore into the back of his head. _Alert! Alert!_

He tore his eyes away from Callum. “Wouldn’t mind a bit of Brangelina’s money though.”

Callum laughed, shaking his head.

“No, seriously!” Ben tried to convince him. “Just imagine, I could take you swanky new places and treat ya to…you know…” He waved his hand around, looking for good examples but coming up empty, “ _things._ ”

So of course his boyfriend had to go out of his way to say something mushy and nice, like “I don’t need swanky things, Ben.” His hand travelled to the back of Ben’s neck, pulling him closer and pressing a small kiss to his lips. The _I just need you_ went unspoken.

Lola cooed at them. “You two are just adorable,” She said, smiling around her house white. “Ballum.”

Ben pointed a threatening finger at her. “Don’t you start!!”

“I don’t mind it, actually?” Callum said. He was sporting one of those deliriously happy smiles he got, where it seemed to take over his whole face. Why did Ben have to go and fall for someone so incredibly cute? Yet..

“Of course _you_ don’t,” Ben told him indignantly, “ _you_ nearly get to keep all of your letters - meanwhile I’ve only got three to begin with!”

“Well you know what they say,” Jay said, voice serious and smart. “She who giveth, taketh away. Ballum’s better than _Cen_ though.”

Lola shivered. “That seriously just gave me the chills.” She paused for a second. “I wonder what they’d call us?”

“ _Lay_ , obviously.” Jay told her. “Done deal.”

She swatted at him. “Right, keep dreamin’. _Jola_ , yeah?”

“But think of all the possibilities, babe.” Jay persisted. “Brings a whole new meaning to getting lai-”

“YES, THANK YOU!” When she looked at him, though, her eyes sparkled. Jay looked properpleased with himself.

“Well I propose a toast,” he said, holding out his bottle, “to _Lay_ and _Cen._ ”

Lola rolled her eyes, but brought forward her own glass to clink against his. “ _Jola_ and _Ballum.”_

Ben made a point of sighing. “I s’pose there’s no gettin’ out of this?” He sent Callum a teasing wink,heart finally settling as the other man joined in.

Lola was right, he decided. Not a regular family unit. But it was perfect all the same.


	4. I felt each word without fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically I was a little upset & confused about Callum being portrayed as tickety-boo after only a day in the hospital? so I wrote a thing. so you know.. have some Ballum angst. and a little bit of fluff.

Ben had all but collapsed in his arms. Breath heaving, eyes stinging. From what Jay and Stuart had told him, he had to be absolutely exhausted - and Callum could tell that he’d been trying to put on a brave face for a really long time. It was a privilege to know he felt safe enough to let down his walls with Callum, but then, he’d always been able to see that side of Ben, hadn’t he? It’s what had made him fall in love in the first place.

Like a kiss on his cheek, to soothe him in the middle of a crowded street. Like hands connecting and not wanting to let go.

They stayed in that kitchen for what seemed like hours. And all that time, Callum pushed through his own pain. Held back from flinching when Ben’s body pressed against the bruises on his chest. Ben deserved to fall apart right now, he was practically owed it by the universe. And Callum was going to be there for him through it all. 

Stuart had explained in his own concise way what’d happened, his mouth twisting a little at the first mention of Ben’s name. It was like a built-in reflex, but Callum could tell things had changed between them - because at the end of it, there was just the flimsiest glimmer of something like respect. That Ben had apparently never given up on finding him and - even though he’d not been able to hear a single thing - had actually _found_ Callum, where Stuart had tried before and failed.

“Can you take me to him?” 

His brother had given a nod, followed by a questioning look at Callum’s broken body. “You sure you’re up for that, bruv? Doctor’s cleared ya?” 

Callum had sent a reassuring smile his way. “I’m alright, Stu. Promise.”

He wasn’t. Not really. 

He knew he should’ve taken his meds a couple of hours ago, but all that had mattered at the time was taking care of Ben. No more talk of sexy times now, Callum just sat him down on the edges of the mattress, and carefully untied his shoes. He’d glanced up at his boyfriend, who was looking at him through hooded eyelids, and gave him a small smile. 

“Alright?” 

Ben nodded, willingly falling back against the sheets. When Callum climbed in after, Ben twisted in his arms to face him.

“Need to see ya.” 

It was just a soft murmur, but it nearly made Callum break to pieces. For the last couple of days, he’d been alone, and freezing and tired. His body’d been battered, had suffered harsh angles and construction rubble digging deep into his skin. Cold and heavy chains around his wrists, weighing him down. And all he’d wanted, all he’d needed, was Ben.

He was truly home again. 

*

It took only half an hour for the dizziness to set in. His lungs began to violently scream their distress at him - or they would have if there’d been any air left in the room. He felt feverish and out of balance, his eyes darting rapidly from side to side - desperate to find anything to focus on. Darkness honestly seemed preferable.

 _Breathe._

He tried to shift himself backwards on the bed, fighting against the way his muscles protested from disuse. God, he felt _sick._ Sheets that’d been crisp and welcoming now felt damp and sticky with sweat. It was like pushing through a desert of sand, ploughing through every single grain that was in his way.

He had to shoot out his hands to steady himself against the wall. Catch it, like. Wiggling his fingers, he all but clawed at the white surface, frustrated by its smooth texture. 

He took a step. Another. Swallowed hard. He’d survived too much to fall down now.

But then, the bathroom had honestly never seemed so far away. The lights had never been so harsh and demanding. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror - and he’d never looked so pale.

His first attempt at swallowing one of his painkillers failed. Why’d they have to make them so awkwardly shaped, anyway? They were just perfect to roll round in the sink and shuffle down the drain, weren’t they? 

Callum braced himself on the edges, eyes closing and head dropping, far too heavy to hold up anymore. So he didn’t see Ben approaching as much a he heard the shocked “ _Jesus, Callum!_ ” from behind him.

Quite the pair, weren’t they? 

Ben rushed to him. A cool hand touched his forehead, trying to calm his feverish head. “You’re too hot.”

Any other time and they’d be cracking jokes about this, weaving innuendo through every uttered word. It’s what Callum had tried to do earlier, innit? Take away some of Ben’s sadness by teasing him, to lift the heaviness from the room. He was just too tired now. 

So he let himself be made to sit down while the world spun fast around him. His eyes shuttered closed again. He heard frantic footsteps and the turning of a faucet, felt wetness to his skin. He wanted to catch Ben’s hand to slow him down. “Ben…”

Fingers closed around his own, aiding him to take hold of a glass filled with water. “I’ve got your pill,” Ben’s soft voice filtered through the darkness. “Think it’ll go down?”

He nodded, pushed himself to look at the proffered item in Ben’s palm. Placing it on his tongue, he focused on the sensation of it, trying to angle the item so it would slide smoothly down his throat. Luckily, it worked.

“I’ll take ya back to bed, yeah?” Ben was solid against his side. Real and true. _There._

And he knew what Ben was thinking. Knew that he felt like it was all his fault, that he was to blame for every second since Keanu had taken him - for every cut and every bruise, for every memory that’d haunt Callum for a while to come. What he never seemed to realize was that he was the balm for all those wounds and more. That the mere thought of him was the only reason Callum had survived to begin with.

He saw the pain on his face when they removed the first layer of his clothing together, laying bare the mottled skin of his wrists. Heard his quick and sharp intake of breath when the next step displayed his chest like a study in black and purple. Ben looked away, trying to busy himself with throwing Callum’s clothes on the floor and retrieving him a new shirt to sleep in. The soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated the wetness in his eyes.

Callum hooked a finger under his chin, turning so their eyes reconnected. “This ain’t your fault.” He made sure to articulate very clearly, so there was no way Ben could misunderstand. “It _ain’t_. Keanu.” 

Ben, of course, dismissed him completely. “You should’ve said you were hurting. No, I - I mean, I should’ve _kno_ -”

“Stop.” Callum said. “I was _alright. I was._ ” He pointed to this temple. “I _forgot_ to take my pills. That ain’t on you either.”

“Callum-”

Callum lay them both back down, reveling in the way his eyes had regained some of their focus, and in the absolute beauty of Ben’s shape beside him. “We found each other.” he said. “Tonight that’s all that matters.”

He could tell Ben wasn’t convinced; and that it would take a lot more time for him to believe it. He’d work on that, starting tomorrow.

Just when he was about to nod off, he heard Ben’s quiet voice ringing out. “I love you.” 

He was looking at him, heart completely on his sleeve in a way he hadn’t quite before. “I should’ve told you sooner and I’m sorry.” A tear fell from his eye, making an odd track along his nose with the way his body was angled. “And I’m _sorry_.”

Callum smiled at him and cradled his right cheek with his palm, fingers gliding over the light stubble there. “I know, Ben. I’ve known for a long time.” He just hoped Ben understood every word. “Let’s get some sleep, eh? We have tomorrow and every day after that.”

He pressed a slow kiss to Ben’s lips. Smiled brightly.

“You are _never_ getting rid of me now.”

*


	5. catch and release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This ain’t about who you are, though, is it?” He shook his head, bit his lip to keep from screaming. He tried to use his hands to convey the message clearly, wishing he knew how. “Nah, this was you trying to prove something. To show the world you’re still big bad Ben Mitchell, even when your hearing’s gone.”
> 
> Ben looked thrown by that. Like he hadn’t even realized that’s what it was until Callum spelled it out for him.
> 
> “… and because of that, you got reckless.” He continued. “Stupid. A-and you got caught for it.”

Callum recognized the officer manning the desk today. Young, male, not altogether unattractive, he exuded the _protect and serve_ enthusiasm Callum had once felt before signing up to the armed forces. He still feels echoes of it in his bones, which is why he’d wanted to apply to the police in the first place. Make a difference again, be something worthwhile.

Officer Harper, his nametag read, well… he’d been around when Callum had walked in all those months ago, bright-eyed and bursting with a sense of purpose. He’d stood by one of the more senior members of the force while they explained to him what it would take to become one of them, all the different steps and procedures he’d have to go through. He’d come so close, once… today it was the furthest thing from his mind.

Callum just felt exhausted. Like he’d been bounced about the complete range of human emotions from the second he’d heard of Ben’s arrest. He’d been anxious, and worried, and angry. An overwhelming sense of relief was thrown in the mix, too - Ben weren’t hurt or anything, he’d just been stupid. 

He approached the counter. “Hi. I’m here about Ben Mitchell?” 

Officer Harper gave him a glance. “Relation to ‘im?” 

“He’s my boyfriend.” It still properly amazed him sometimes; how those words had been unthinkable only a year ago, and now he could easily say them without a quiver in his voice. _Proudly_ \- even under the present circumstances. “I’ve got the money to bail him out, so I - I’m here to pick him up.” 

_Take him home. Shake him apart for being so reckless._

The information was answered with a judgemental raise of the eyebrow - and he saw the same sentiment reflected in the officer’s eyes. Heard it in the short exhale he pushed through his lips. Knew it floated in the air around them. His chances of joining up had just diminished. “Heard about the Mitchells.” Harper offered. “Not the easiest family to be connected to, eh?”

Callum wouldn’t even dignify that with a response. He just posted the bail money and sat down in one of them hard plastic chairs, eyes firmly trained on the door he knew Ben would be walking through. He did, a few moments later, looking every bit the smug, hard criminal he tried so hard to portray. When his gaze found Callum’s, though, there was a near unnoticeable slip, a trembling at the corners of the smirk he’d plastered on. 

Callum just pushed himself from the chair and walked out. Didn’t even turn back to see if he was followed. Only when he felt Ben’s weight fall into the passenger seat, did he twist his head around to see if he was putting on his seatbelt. A quick glance at the man told him the hard facade had vanished now, a meek expression taking its place.

He could feel Ben’s gaze burning into the side of his head for the entire car ride home. From the corners of his eyes, he saw his mouth working a little, opening and closing several times as if deciding what to say. Whether to push through an apology or gear up for a fight. But it was only when they were standing in the kitchen, hands clenched tightly around their glasses of water, that any one of them even spoke at all.

“Well, I’m _fine_ , Callum. Thank you for asking.” 

His voice dripped with sarcasm and Callum was just proper fed up.

He looked away, searching for the right words, before fixing his gaze back again.

A fire sparked behind those blue eyes he loved so much - and Callum knew in a split second Ben had made his decision. _Alright_ , he thought. Resigned himself to it. A fight it is, then.

“You know,” Ben started, voice raised and harsh and cutting, “I really don’t see how come you’re acting like I’ve disappointed ya.” He placed down his glass forcefully, the sound ringing against the silence. “I mean, it’s not like this is suddenly a whole new side of me you’ve only just found out, Callum. You’ve always known who I am, so if _you can’t accept that…_ ”

And he didn’t get it, did he? Callum drew his hand over his face. So, so tired.

“This ain’t about who you are, though, is it?” He shook his head, bit his lip to keep from screaming. He tried to use his hands to convey the message clearly, wishing he knew how. “Nah, this was you trying to _prove_ something. To show the world you’re still _big bad Ben Mitchell_ , even when your hearing’s gone.” 

Ben looked thrown by that. Like he hadn’t even realized that’s what it was until Callum spelled it out for him.

“… and because of that, you got reckless.” He continued. “Stupid. A-and you got caught for it.”

“Hang on,” The spark of fire that had been dancing in the blue disappeared into thin air, replaced by a flickering of fairy lights. Ben now looked like Callum had just given him the greatest present in the world. He grinned happily, sashaying over in an effort to get closer to his tower of a man. His strength, his pillar. His _Callum._ “So you’re saying you’re not actually upset about the stealing, just the getting caught part?” 

Callum rolled his eyes, but put down his glass to accommodate Ben into his space. “Don’t be stupid. ‘Course I’m upset about the stealing.”

Ben hooked his arms around Callum’s neck, making it hard for him not to immediately melt into the embrace. He had to have some pride tucked away somewhere, surely. Resting just one hand on Ben’s hip, he left the right one free to add motion to his words, hoping Ben would understand what he was saying. A frown, too, to show his dismay at certain aspects of the sting. “I ain’t too happy about the _flirting_ bit either,” he added.

“Aw, well _flirting_ ’s a bit of an overstatement, babe. It was just my natural charm that reeled him in, honestly.” Ben batted his eyelashes in an attempt to look endearing. It just so happened to work. 

Callum huffed, pointing his finger first at Ben’s chest, then to the ceiling. “You know where you can stick ya natural charm, Ben Mitchell?”

“Please, pleaaaase say up ya bum?”

“You are proper ridiculous.”

“I know.” Ben nodded, face mock-serious. “I have no idea why you love me.”

And there it was. The reason Ben was trying so hard with absolutely everything in his life - the idea that had taken root there from when he was a kid. That he weren’t worth being loved, that he had to make himself bigger, better. Near invincible. 

“Well I can think of a few reasons.” Callum said, pressing a quick kiss to Ben’s lips and swirling his fingers through the air as if enumerating all the reasons why. “Though flirting with other men and stealing their cars is pretty low on that list.”

Ben made a face - a mixture between apology and smile - and snatched Callum’s hand from the air, tangling their fingers together. “Upstairs?”

“Yeah.” Callum squeezed his fingers tenderly. “Yeah, upstairs.”

**Author's Note:**

> come find me at tumblr! : maerose-late-at-night :)


End file.
